Heavy Eye-lids Begging to Slam Shut

****Warning: This post is highly Schizophrenic! If you're not used to following my rather random train of thought, you may get lost along the way! You have been warned...****

Being condemned to the life of a California public school student is truly a punishment never to be wished upon even the most heinous of sinners. Today, the entire Sophomore class (and those very few unlucky Juniors who were unable to pass last year) took the CAHSEE exam. I must say that the California High School Exit Exam was the easiest test I have ever taken. To be quite honest, I could have finished the entire thing within the confines of second period had there not been those horrible "STOP"s within the test. Who needs break when you can finish and get it over with? Fortunately, however, it got us all out of the first three periods of the day and a good portion of the fourth... Meaghan and I constantly compete to be the first finished. No matter what test it is, we always seem to be in subconcious competition. Silly, we both know, but we can't help it! Anyways, this time around, Meagh and I (who were sitting directly next to eachother) slowed down in order to miss more of fourth period... Y'all can't really blame me for that one! I have Shibuya fourth! The insane math teacher who wishes he could teach Ethics but is too wrapped up in pointing out people's faults to really teach much of anything! Okay, the Shibuya rant can wait for later... Back to Meaghan and I... We both watched Mandy for a cue on when to turn the page to slow us down, but she was *too* slow! We actually ended up turning pages with Maggie, finishing everything on them, and then sitting there and waiting... and waiting... and waiting... then repeating the process. What fun!



As I was sitting in Phys. Ed. today, I noticed something that greatly discouraged me. I had the misfortune of getting stuck just in front of a group of the more questionable Freshman and having to listen to their extremely loud conversation about what they had done last weekend. One girl (who we will name Lilith, as I know no one else of that name) was talking about how she had a party at her house to smoke some weed while her parents were gone. Lilith then proceeded to tell the world about all of the ridiculous things she and her druggie friends did while they were high, as though she should be given a medal of honor for her deeds! This led me to compare my life with hers... This past weekend, I spent time with my friends at church; learning about the Peace of the Lord and praying for one another. Her definition of "fun" and mine were completely different. My soul mourned for this girl who was so obviously lost in the world... I found myself praying for Lilith, a girl I hardly know and have never seriously spoken to, asking for her eyes to be opened to the Light. And you know what? It happens all the time. Not a day goes by that I don't see some one like Lilith, completely oblivious to the fact that they don't need the things of this world to bring them happiness... that they can have Divine Joy in our Lord, Jesus Christ. This all reminded of me of a specific Psalm I had read the other day. Psalm 119 to be precise. It is much to long to post in entirety here, but when you get the chance, look it up! It is my prayer...

As you can probably tell, I have been weary lately. Not only physically tired, but mentally and spiritually as well. Matthew 11:28-30 has been my constant encouragement... Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Weary and burdened? That's me!! Rest for my soul? Sign me up!! At times though, it is so so very difficult to find that rest... that peace that He promises. It requires complete surrender; a total laying down of all of our worries at His feet and an *acceptance* of His rest... Hey guys, would you please remember me in your prayers this week? There are some things that I just can't let go of... that I have not yet left entirely up to our Maker... Luke 14:26-27